What to do when your dog dies

No one prepares you for the hours that come afterwards.

Suddenly, you have to make decisions you never thought you would have to make, at the worst possible moment to think clearly, while the vet is asking you what you want to do.

Here’s what you need to know, and in what order. There’s no need to rush: almost nothing is as urgent as it may seem.

And although we talk about dogs here, everything that follows applies just as much if the animal who has died is your cat.

The first few hours

If your pet has died at the clinic, you can stay with them.

There is no set amount of time, and no one is going to ask you to leave. If you need twenty minutes alone in the room, ask for them. It’s a normal request, and they’re used to it.

If your pet has died at home, you don’t have to rush either. If it happened at night, you can call your vet the next day. Leave them in their usual place, on a blanket and, if possible, in the coolest room in the house.

And if there is something you want to keep from them, this is the moment.

A lock of fur. Their collar. Their paw print.

Afterwards, some things can no longer be recovered.

What happens to their body

You will normally have to choose between two cremation options, which will be arranged by the clinic or a specialist company:

• Communal cremation. Your pet is cremated together with other animals and the ashes are not returned. It is the less expensive option.

• Individual cremation. Your pet is cremated individually and the ashes are returned to you afterwards, usually in an urn. It is more expensive.

Some crematoriums allow you to be present during the process. For some people, this helps. For others, it doesn’t. There is no right way to say goodbye.

What about burying them?

Before burying your pet at home, on private land or in the countryside, check the regulations in your area. The burial of animals is regulated and is not always permitted.

It may be the last thing you want to think about at that moment, but checking beforehand can save you a problem later.

The microchip: don’t forget it

It’s one of those things that is easily forgotten when you’re dealing with everything else.

Your pet’s death must be reported to the relevant identification registry within the required timeframe. If their records are not updated, they may continue to be registered as alive, with you listed as their owner or responsible person.

In many cases, you don’t have to do this yourself: the vet or crematorium may be able to process it using the death or cremation certificate.

Ask before you leave.

If you do have to do it yourself, you will normally need your ID, the microchip number and the relevant certificate. The registries vary depending on where you live.

In Catalonia, there are ANICOM, the registry managed by the regional government, and AIAC, managed by the Council of Veterinary Colleges. Your pet may be registered with one, the other or both, so it is worth checking.

It is also a good time to check whether your pet had insurance and whether they were registered with your local council.

The other animals in the house

Yes, they notice.

They look for them. They wait by the door. They sniff their usual places. Some eat less for a few days.

Many vets recommend allowing the other animals in the household to see and smell the body before it is taken away.

It isn’t morbid. It can help them understand that the animal is not coming back, rather than waiting for them and continuing to search.

If you can, and you feel able to, let them say goodbye.

Afterwards, keep their usual routines. Their walks. Their meals. Their little habits.

Routine is one of the few things that can hold them steady when everything else has changed.

And it will probably help you too.

Children

Children also need space to understand what has happened, but there is no single right way to explain it to them.

You can talk openly about the fact that their dog or cat has died, adapting the explanation to their age and to what they are able to understand at that moment. You don’t need to give them every detail or find the perfect words.

If they have questions, answer honestly and simply. If they don’t want to talk, you don’t have to make them.

You can ask whether they would like to say goodbye, keep something to remember them by, or simply stay with you.

And if they see you crying, that’s okay. You are grieving too, and you don’t have to hide how you feel in order to protect them.

What matters is that they know they can talk about them, miss them and continue to love them, even though they are no longer here.

Their things

There is no rush.

None.

Some people need to put away the food bowl and bed that same night because they can’t bear to see them.

Others leave everything exactly where it was for months.

Both are okay.

Putting their things away quickly doesn’t mean you loved them any less. Leaving them there doesn’t mean you are unable to move forward.

If you can, do just one thing: set aside the things you know you want to keep.

Their collar. Their blanket. Their favourite toy. Their name tag.

Put everything together in a box, even if you don’t yet know what you will do with it.

Making that decision six months from now will be much easier than making it today.

Grief is real, even if not everyone understands it

You will probably go back to work before you feel ready.

Someone may say, “Well, it was only a dog,” without meaning to hurt you.

And you may find yourself trying to justify why you are so devastated.

You don’t have to.

You have lost someone who was part of your everyday life. Someone who waited for you when you came home, slept beside you, knew your routines and was by your side for years.

There is a term for this: disenfranchised grief. It is used to describe losses that are real, but that the people around us do not always recognise or consider significant enough.

That is why grieving an animal can sometimes feel incredibly lonely.

If, after a few weeks, you feel unable to get back to your routine, you aren’t sleeping, you can’t work or you feel like you can’t cope, seeking professional help may be a good decision.

There are psychologists who specialise in pet bereavement. Seeing one is not an overreaction.

What you can keep

Over time, many people are grateful to have something of theirs that they can actually touch.

You may have hundreds of photographs, but a photograph is something you look at.

A paw print is something you can touch.

That is why many people keep their pet’s collar, a lock of fur or their paw print.

A paw print is especially unique: it preserves the shape of their paw pads, their tiny lines and the actual size of their paw. It is a part of them that existed exactly that way and will never change again.

Many clinics do not take a paw print automatically, and they are not necessarily expected to.

If you want to keep one, ask for it yourself that same day.

Some clinics have the materials to do it. Others don’t. But there is no harm in asking.

And that opportunity does not come back.

If they are still with you

If you are reading this in advance because your dog is getting older, is ill or you simply want to be prepared, your situation is different.

You don’t have to wait until that moment comes.

You can take their paw print on any afternoon while they are still with you, without rushing and without turning it into a goodbye.

Here we explain how to take your dog’s paw print step by step.

We also have a kit for doing it at home, although you don’t need to use ours. What matters is that the system uses protected ink so that the paw does not come into direct contact with it.

If that day ever comes, you will already have their paw print.

And that means you won’t have to ask for it when you are least prepared to do so.

If they are already gone

If no one took their paw print and they have already died, there is no way to recover it.

It is the only thing on this entire list that has a time limit.

That is why we mention it here, even though we know it may be painful to read.

It doesn’t go away. It changes.

The first month is usually especially hard.

After that, it doesn’t suddenly disappear.

It changes.

Little by little, the hole stops taking up everything and becomes something you carry with you. Some days it feels heavier. Others, lighter.

For years, you may walk past their usual spot and look.

You may open the door expecting to find them.

You may keep buying their food for a while out of habit.

There may be a song, a smell or a particular time of day that suddenly brings them back to you.

There is nothing to fix there.

Missing them is part of having loved them.

And perhaps that is the most important thing you need to know: you don’t have to stop loving them in order to move forward.

If you are wondering why we have written about something so difficult, here we tell you why PETJA exists.

PETJA · Barcelona